Today, I was listening to the Motivation to Move podcast, which is a one minute daily show trying to keep you motivated to stay in shape. The one I heard today was titled "Tuning In to You" and the host invited you to remember all those dreams you had for your life when you were younger.
I immediately thought of being in high school, envisioning myself as Captain of the Enterprise, a mad chemist, an author, a journalist, a tailor, or MacGyver. I felt a surge of how happy those dreams made me and I thought, "yeah! Why did I give up on those dreams?" Except for being Captain of the Enterprise or MacGyver, all of those dreams are still within my reach.
Before I could answer my own question, I realized that I don't necessarily want to be those things anymore. When I thought about my future as a high school kid, I envisioned something glamorous and sophisticated like a socialite, or something wild and unbalanced like an action movie, I didn't envision paying bills and taxes, having a cold, or doing the dishes. No one does. That's why they're dreams; they're supposed to be idealized.
It's like the old question: if you could go back in your life, knowing what you know now, would you do it over again? My answer has always been absolutely not, especially if you go back knowing what you know now. True, you might avoid some mistakes (I know I would), but I would also poison my dreams with cynicism. Childhood, even young adulthood, is supposed to be idealized.
Think about the young kids who've seen too much pain or horror to be called "children": survivors of wars, famine, genocide, abuse, and so on. They're disillusioned and often mature, but they've lost their innocence and that's tragic. They were never allowed to be kids.
So, I'm glad I could have a childhood where I dreamed big dreams and had elaborate fantasies about how awesome life was going to be after college. I wouldn't trade those dreams for anything. But, to paraphrase the Bible, when I became an adult, I put away childish things.
It was fun to remember the dreams I had in high school and some of those dreams still beckon to me, even as I've changed. I used to find it terribly frustrating that I was continually changing as a person. Just when I thought I had myself figured out, I'd change. But, then I read a book that said it quite elegantly: what grows never grows old.
My dreams have changed, and that's okay. I didn't squash them with the reality of colds and dirty dishes, I'm a different person now so it only makes sense that my dreams would be different, too. My challenge now is to dream again, like a child, with the knowledge of adulthood, but unfettered by that knowledge. That is quite a challenge, but I think I'm up to it.